Yesterday was a very hard day... it was the second anniversary of my friend, Harrison Paul Fidler's death... well he was one of my closest friend's little brother's and is in almost every memory I have of that family up until that point. At fourteen this gift died of Bacterial Meningitis - the symptoms of a common cold gone bad.
I woke up and tried to decide whether to go about my day and pretend that I didn't realize what day it was or to dwell on the memories of two years ago. I got dressed and prepared to go to my afternoon class... when my sister, who was also trying to decide how to feel, suggested that we skip class and go to the movies... This is what we did. I think it was the right choice, I'm not sure that sitting in a lecture would bode well with my mental state.
Have you ever had the feeling that you are not where your body is? I have, it happened to me yesterday. I didn't really feel like I was watching myself but that I - my mind, my reality - was just gone, somewhere else completely.
And last night I came home and put in a movie that I knew would help me put in perspective my emotions. I cried, it felt so could to cry. I just let the tears roll down my cheeks as I cried... I cried for the past and the present.
yesterday again I strolled on Virtual Memorials and came to harrison paul fidler. I read a lot saw pictures of him, family and friends, saw he went exactly 5 years ago and I lost it, for a boy I even never met or had seen before.
ReplyDeleteOk, i am depressed but still..., Just came to notice aboyt the walk for missed childeren that should have taken place 3-12-2013. I hope it was nice.
marino form Tzum the Netherlands.