Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Mist of the Past

 Here is another short story from my archives.
                         The Mist of the Past. 

          Clair took a deep breath then five steps forward. Wow she couldn’t believe she was actually here. A cool fog had settled low on the ground. It was like a sad fairy tale. The mist of the past rising up from the green filed. She closed her eyes and watched that green field starting to flow with blood. She was standing on ground once paintedred by the blood of young boys. What a brutal misfortune for so many men. She opened her eyes and ran her hand along one of the cold white head stones. She looked down and read the word unknown on it.  His family never found out if he was alive or dead. They were never granted peace. 
          She left the headstone behind and walked farther down the hill. She could see it all. The cloud of smoke left behind after a gun was fired, the bodies falling as they were impacted by bullet or bayonet. She could hear the screams of the dying men, and the screams of the men thrusting their bayonets into the flesh of their brothers. She heard the clashing of bayonets and the boom from the guns. 
         Clair reached her hand out to a nearby tree for support. She was breathing heavily. She looked up through its big branches to the gray sky and tried to fight back the tears that welled in her eyes. This place filled her with the sad realization of war.
        “Clair, come on,” Clair’s thoughts were sent to an abrupt halt when she heard her best friends voice. She walked the rest of the way down the green hill and reached the pavement. She turned to look back at the solemn site. The white head stones glistened in under the gray sky, they were planted in ground that showed no ounce of the blood soaked into its soil. She smiled as the proud sadness settled in her heart and she whispered a prayer as she turned away from the Gettysburg National Cemetery.   

Harrison Paul Fidler

       Yesterday was a very hard day... it was the second anniversary of my friend, Harrison Paul  Fidler's death... well he was one of my closest friend's little brother's and is in almost every memory I have of that family up until that point. At fourteen this gift died of Bacterial Meningitis - the symptoms of a common cold gone bad.
        I woke up and tried to decide whether to go about my day and pretend that I didn't realize what day it was or to dwell on the memories of two years ago. I got dressed and prepared to go to my afternoon class... when my sister, who was also trying to decide how to feel, suggested that we skip class and go to the movies... This is what we did. I think it was the right choice, I'm not sure that sitting in a lecture would bode well with my mental state.
    Have you ever had the feeling that you are not where your body is? I have, it happened to me yesterday. I didn't really feel like I was watching myself but that I - my mind, my reality - was just gone, somewhere else completely.
     And last night I came home and put in a movie that I knew would help me put in perspective my emotions. I cried, it felt so could to cry. I just let the tears roll down my cheeks as I cried... I cried for the past and the present.
   

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I sit here in a quiet room, surrounded by people. I am... borde. I write to pass the time. Time that moves so slowly that i want to throw myself off a building simply to pass it. My thoughts hold to what my future has in store, what I want to do with my life. I know what I want, but I'm tired of waiting for it. I'm tired of taking expensive classes that i could learn the same thing by reading a book. I blather on about the same things that I have before - its a vicous never ending cricle that I want desspratly to leave behind. Many people go to college to find themselves... been there, done that can I move on now? "NO!" life says, you must sit in waiting until I tell you it is time. To be profound... "waiting sucks!" Just kidding, not about the waiting, but about the profoundness of that statment.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The Release of Night and Day

 This is Just a sample of my writing, its a few years old but is still one of my favorites.
                               
     The Release of Night and Day


            There were two of them, as different as night and day. Day was blond, beautiful and probably spent more money on fake-bake tanning then a normal person did on groceries in a year. Not that she had the money to spend. She lived somewhere in between Coldwater and Bronson Michigan, but every weekend she and her hoards of followers would go to Battle creek or Kalamazoo, which they thought to be huge cities. Everything she wore was pink down to the nail polish. Day found that the company of kids she met while clubbing in Kalamazoo suited her better than the hicks that she drug around from place to place.  
            The other of the two, Night, was pale. She avoided the sunlight and kept her hair as dark as black silk. Night had never been far from her home or school but she read about places that she would rather be than where she was. Her wardrobe of black and red didn’t fit in with the flannel and blue jeans any better then her sister did. Night had no friends, she preferred to sit alone with a book and watch the steam in back of the torn down farm house her sister, mother and she called home.
            Night and Day did not speak. At school, in the car, or at the dinner table. Day talked a lot, rarely did she cease to take a breath, but she never said the things she wanted to. She’s often screamed at her mother, “she’s ruining my life! Do you know how it looks to have a sister that’s a total reject?” When what she really wanted to say was, “I love you Nightingale why don’t you ever look at me?” But Day would never address her sister directly. It was to belittling.
            Night, on the other hand, did not speak at all. She did not speak to anyone, ever. If she did, she probably would have told her sister how lonely she felt and how much she missed her best friend. Instead she immersed herself in novels and when that was not enough of a escape she would write on her arm with a razor blade. 
            Night was still, she would sit for hours by the stream and only think of where it could take her. As much as she wanted to be different she wanted to fit in and yet she’d given up wanting all together. In some ways Night knew that she would never leave this place. She felt that as long as she lived she would be here in this little town with people that didn’t understand her.
       Day escaped her pain by slipping into the back with one of the boys she knew from the clubs. She would sigh as he touched her butt or breasts. His name didn’t matter. There were so many she used to get want she wanted. “Dayla,” he would whisper before jamming his tongue down her throat and unbuttoning her jeans. She had escaped for the time being.
            Sometimes after that moment Day would think of her sister. How different they were. Day doubted that Night had ever been with a boy. What did she do to escape the pain their father had left behind in his stead?
            One night after Day had broken curfew again her mother intercepted her at the door. Night was outside on the porch reading by candle light. After getting reprimanded and grounded Day went into another screaming fit. This time it was enough she shake Night’s darkness. Day was screaming at her mother but what she was saying was not directed at her, as always. Day screamed, “she walks around here like she’s already dead and I’m getting in trouble. So I went out big deal! I’m not the one who should be punished! If you knew how she deals with her shit you’d never yell at me again.” This time Day looked into the eyes of the one she blamed for all of her problems. This time Night let her guard down and heard her sister, her twin.
            Day did not wait one hour after their mother had given up the fight to sneak out of the house again. But before she stepped out their window she turned to look at Night asleep in her bed. Day wanted Night to die. How could she live with this so well? More than that Day wanted her guilt go away. She wanted to tell her sister that she was sorry and that she hadn’t meant what she’d said earlier. Instead she whispered, “I hate you.” and left.
            Unwanted tears filled Night’s eyes. Why did she have to love her sister so much? But if that’s the way Day really felt about her then what more did she need to live for. Night walked to the kitchen for a bigger knife. A razor blade just wouldn’t do. Under the stars Night walked. Her light skin glowed in the moonlight but nothing else could be seen. Night reached the river and stood still, soaking in the peace of the release. Tonight Night didn’t bother with the little marks.
            Day still felt guilty when she reached his house. The Hicksville ‘hims’ worked on a whim but weren‘t her preference. This him lived just across the river and didn’t heisted to sneak her upstairs to his room when she arrived. He threw Day on his bed and slammed his body on top of her. Her aggressiveness was just as strong as his. She felt for his big belt buckle as he pulled off her shirt. Day’s release came with a jolt. Her guilt was gone, as was her dignity once again.     
            Night sunk to her knees while she felt her life leaving her. Her pain slipped away with the blood that now soaked her black clothing and the ground beneath her. After several minutes of shallow breathing Night found her permanent release. 
            Day pushed against his chest, something felt wrong. She felt strange like some part of  her just died. He turned her month back to his and Day forgot about it. So goes the release for Night and Day. When dawn came Day lived on but Night’s eyes would never again open for the Sun.    
                                           by: Ashli Edwards

Alice

I'm "mad as a box of frogs" I get obsessed about certain, random things from time to time. At the moment its is Alice the tv miniseries starring Andrew-lee Potts and Caterina Scorsone. Andrew-lee's Hatter beats even Johnny Depp's. Part of that could be the deep British accent, level headed madness, and the relationship that forms between him and Alice. Tee Hee. Most of the time I hate renditions of literature that don't follow the story line of its origin, for instance Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Alice, but this one swept me off my feet and made me fall for it. Now, "a different kettle of onions" is the subject that the other portion of my brain is honed in on, discontentment. Have you ever had that feeling in which something doesn't feel right, incomplete? I have passion in the writing i do for my next novels. I love the job that i want (novelist) but i am tired of school, tired of Indiana... and am so ready for a different stage in my life. Be it love or a better publisher, I am aching for my life the jolt forward into the next step. Maybe I should get a new 'scut' job. I have been at the same department store for three years of school now. Three years is about the max that i can stay in the same job. That is part of why I want to write books for a living. The job may stay the same but the content would constantly be changing. Alright I have prattled on long enough for now. Thanks - A girl, a writer, and "a friend.... I hope."

Introducing Me

Hello,
     My name is Ashli Edwards. I am a newly published author, Silver hit shelves around a month ago. I love mythology, folklore, and fantasy of all kinds. I love to read, write and much more... These of course are just the basics of who I am, more will come as time goes on I am sure! -AE