Entry Four: Simply Purple, July 16th 2007

Hey Me,

     PURPLE HAIR DISASTER! No joke! My hair is purple! Trisha's is blonde, Cori's is brown and I'm a red head, but this...This is FAIRY PUNK PURPLE! I want my hair back! but it did spawn a poem...

Simply Purple

Bright like a Fairy, dark like a punk.

This girl doesn't know what fits.

The dainty glowing fairy trying to burst through.

The desperate punk, trying unsuccessfully yo find a place.

Which will win?

Who will succeed?

In the end they are really no different.

Not different by shine or shimmer.

Not different by a chain or a rose.

In the end they are all the same.

They are simply

 Purple.

Laters,

     -ME

Entry Three: Just A Day, July 13th 2007

Hey Me,
 
    Today was filling with all then emotions under the sun. Anger was fleeting, annoyance, joy, peace and love through a blessing. Morning with mom was FUN! who would have known we could get along for a whole day? Maybe it did touch me (more than I will admit) that she'd put a whole day aside just for me. Love is time spent!
     Relaxation and peace, two things not easily found in a life of stress. Today was a good day with a glitch so fleeting it will be pushed off until tomorrow's arrival.
     I look at the world in a new light. At least for tonight. What will tomorrow Bring?

Laters,
     -ME

Entry Two: Tomorrow's Hours, July 12th 2007

Tomorrow's Hours

Hey Me,

     Is the loneliness I feel meant to be substantial? Is my heart meant to be edged with red pain? Am I maent to walk the grey roads of life alone? 

     The days to come do not change. They do not shift but remain unwavering. I live a life from the outside looking in. I watch as life, in all of it's splender, passes me by. Why am I cursed to find myself my most loyal companion? 

     The joy's of my heart are not always there as they should be. Time spent is not that quickly given. Tomorrow's hours will be spent alone. Just as yesterday's were.

Laters,

     - ME

Entry One: Intro, July 7th 2007

Hello Again,

I am now twenty-five and on my way to becoming successful in many walks of life. I was reading back through my old journals the other day and had a realization. I started these journals when I was 18 and, as I look back, I wondered if my past anxieties, emotions or trials might help a new generation of dreamer get through what they are going through now. So going forward I am going to post the intimate details of my early life, the inception of my writing career and any other struggles I went though as a young adult. If my life touches even one person the intimacy of these posts will be worth it. So enjoy a look at me!

Journal Entry One July 7th 2007.

Hey Me,

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know if I even want to have a journal. It seems so personal putting words about me and my life on paper. It's not a book I'm writing, where I am free to be someone else. No this is me, only me, BORING!!! What will I write about me life? Nothing ever seems to happen. I'll only write about pain and annoyance I fear. It's sad but I will barely write about anything else. Happy feelings aren't near as easy to expel. I don't want to write about people or things around me. Simply the emotions I feel. Just the pain, hurt and love... No not love, not in that special way at least. Now jealousy, I could write about jealousy. Still I don't want to. That acing pain to be loved by someone still haunts me. The gap in my heart begging to be filled. What shall I do? Who Shall I meet? Will I fall in love? Only my Future entries will tell.

Laters,

    - Me

The wolf : poetry

The Wolf

Yellow eyes Peirce through

the darkness

of Night and Life.

Strong paws Hit

the ground

with Purpose and Stealth.

Spirit Calling Spirit

Primal and Instinctual.

Queen of the Forest

before me

a Vision, a Guide a Dream.

-Ashli Edwards

Journal entry number two

Today....
  
      Hello,
          My dreams... I've lost them. So I'm going back to the basics. I'm not going to focus on the fact that two novels need to be written as soon as possible. I'm not going to focus on the possibility of the money to travel and live the life I truly crave.... instead I am going to focus on re-igniting the love I used to have for the art of words, of pen to paper so to speak. No parameters, no goals. Just write whatever I can, whenever I can. Focus on the love of writing. Novels may yet be it but I have to stop feeling like I'm behind, stretched and pressured for all the wrong reasons. I know that the love and joy for writing is inside me somewhere, I just need to be gentle with it, like coaxing a wild animal out of it's hiding place. I need to whisper to the wild horse and wait for my dreams to "join up" when they are ready.  -AE

journal entry number one.

Several weeks ago....

     Hello,
         I woke up a few days ago, yet again missing the girl I used to be. Missing the passion I used to have, the drive. Once upon a time there was a girl who lived to write, now that same girl doesn't write to live like the story goes, oh no, she doesn't write at all. She's out of shape, out of practice and wants to scratch, fingers bleeding, her way back to the girl she left behind. She was younger and more naive, yes but her innocence gave the unrelenting ability to believe that all of her dreams would come true. With time and disappointment her strength wained, her joy faded and her dreams took a back seat to an unfortunate expanse of life and time.
                                                                                                    -AE